The reasons why university of Nairobi (UON) ladies are a turn off for me.

Wednesday is a wicked day, and am allowed to go ga ga ga (i don’t know what that means) I pick a university and write a bout their ladies. I don’t know how UON came to my mind.I dont care whether they will come demonstrating lead by Babu Owino or who ever else, I have to write this.

University of Nairobi ladies have their own class, their own style,their own swag and their own worst behavior.Walk with me in this journey as i undercover them.

UON ladies have this habit of sticking anything to their walls.From pictures their American Rnb crashes to Mexican soap operas dudes whom they will never meet ,under the sun.Personally, I shout out those ladies who draw their drawings and stick them or either they have a Kenyan celebrity on their walls.At least, they can afford a gate fee to their concerts and have a kamatia chini moment with them.

UON ladies love singing.They can sing to blues, Rnbs, Dancell and thanks to Willy Paul,they now sing to seculargospel.They sing loud enough a person boarding a train at railways station can hear her off keys and disgusting voice.Hell, if she comes from the land of uthamaki [Am dating a kiuk,save your hate speech.] by the way, i love their githeri mixed with cabbage, sweet cassava,sweet onions e.t.c.

UON ladies love cooking.Yes,either she stays at an hostel or campus rooms[call them cells] they can do anything to cook.From cooking at 1;00 am, carrying vegetables in their handbags, sneaking cooking floor to the rooms using that friend zoned bod boy.She can google recipes and watch tutorials on you tube and try to cook.When the tutorial uses microwave she uses her briefcase.She will miss the special ingredients but use random ingredients bought from Kawangware market.

I love UON ladies when it comes to doing anything crazy,count then in.She can do anything from being naked in her room, when other ladies are not around,take nudes which she will send to her boyfriend who will later lick them to other guys on Mafisi telegram channel.She can do a one nite stand with a random guy she meet at a club around moi avenue and she will tell it to her girls may be as a prove of being urban.THE OTHER GIRLS WILL ENVY HER AND SHE WILL BE THE TALK OF CAMPUS ON VARIOUS PLATFORMS FROM FACEBOOK TO WHATS APP GROUPS.

UON ladies should be given job opportunities with NIS.They are good at stalking exes,old crush laughing at the ugly wives and babies born.She will create pseudo accounts and troll you when ever she sees you doing good in live.I swear she will even sleep with your boss ,so that the boss can terminate your job.She can even hire goons to attack you and get away with your car.

She rocks for insat fame.She knows where the best photo studio are located in town.She can kill with a killer swag, save for some help with frds who come from runda.She can call her parents back in the village to send her cash, which she will use to buy for turkey dresses in town.She has a twitter account with a good number of followers.She displays her good boobs.She tweets with slay hastags. I love her slay tweets.I am the only twitter life guy who has not hit her DM.Why- you know.

She loves bets.YES, she has a white dory dog, she walks around with her bet.she goes with her dog to anywhere.From lecture rooms to eating areas,to washrooms, to group discussions,to games, to even church.Atleast, she sleeps in her room to keep her bet company.She is a better fashion of a loner.

UON ladies loves her tv screen.Her eyes can be glued to her screen.She loves the wedding shows and reality shows.She is that lady, who will tell you everything about miss Dora.She can be mistaken to be the director at Nairobi D.IF she is into movies, she knows the latest movies, series, than even your local movie guy.She just upgraded and now she has no cable, she watches her movies on netflix. iF YOU DARE ASK HER FOR A DINNER in town and she stays in the Universalty cells, she will ask for an Uber.

Hold on, don’t scroll down, let me finish up with her.A UON lady never showers.She can go for days without taking a bath.thanks to re-filler perfumes along Kimathi street opposite Hilton hotel.She cant afford wet wipes, she walks around carrying tissue papers.Guys like me who don’t walk around with tissue papers, she helps us a lot.

let me leave it here, part 2

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Am a young accountant, techpreneur, talkpreneur,business boy.spoken word is my weed when I feel to quit.Am driving my Bugatti as i sip my champagne as i reflect how i did it. #wordpower #worldword #skylimit

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